


The Fallen Paladin

by WintrysTrashCan (Little_Wintry)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood and Violence, Corruption, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death, Demonic Possession and NOT the sexy kind, Descent into Madness, F/F, Fairly graphic violence, Fucked Up Characters, Fucked Up Relationships, Guilt, Hallucinations, I tag in advance, Insanity, Self-Harm, Suicide, Swearing, This is the most fucked up thing I've ever written, friends to enemies to lovers... ish, inspired just a lil by D&D, people get revived a lot too, really it's just Fucked Up, why did i write this??? not sure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-25 03:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Wintry/pseuds/WintrysTrashCan
Summary: Reverie, a fallen Paladin, is tortured by her own mind and unable to find joy in anything but killing.Ahlani, a demigod, searches endlessly for Reverie in an attempt to ease her suffering, trying anything she can think of to save her friend.They've been locked in this vicious cycle for five hundred years, with Reverie unable to stay dead and Ahlani too stubborn to die. Reverie believes she can't change. Ahlani is sure she can.What will it take to break this cycle?
Relationships: Ahlani (OC)/Reverie (OC), OC/OC





	1. Around the Fire

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the tags, this is a fucked up story. The first few chapters might not seem that fucked up, but it gets there awfully quick. Nonetheless, it's still something I'm actually pretty proud of, and I have most of it pre-written so this should just be a matter of posting on a semi-regular schedule. Specific trigger warnings will also be posted for specific chapters at the beginning notes.

_ “You really are smitten, aren’t you?” _

_ Ahlani lifted her head, glancing at Pira, then back to the sleeping Reverie. Her face went red. _

_ “I’m obvious, aren’t I?” She muttered. _

_ Pira smirked. “Very, very obvious.” _

_ Off to the side of their campfire, Ares scoffed. “I’m just wondering when you two will stop beating around the bush.” _

_ Pira shushed him. “Let them take their time.” _

_ “They’ve been pining for nearly two years!” _

_ Ahlani buried her face in her hands, desperately trying to hide her growing blush. Her attraction to Reverie wasn’t exactly a secret - and somehow, Reverie herself always remained oblivious. _

_ “I think it’s almost storybook,” Edward said, peering up from his tome of spells. “I mean, a demigod?” He gestured to Ahlani. “Falling in love with her divine mother’s Paladin?” He nodded to Reverie. “That’s a fairy tale, right there.” _

_ Ahlani sighed, glancing back to Reverie. “I guess it is.” _

_ Their little adventuring party had been together for just about two years, and for those two years, Ahlani had been smitten with Reverie. She wasn’t sure what it was, and couldn’t describe it other than 'love at first sight'.  _

_ She wasn’t even sure why she had fallen for Reverie specifically. Reverie was a normal Paladin, dedicated to smiting evil in her goddess’s name - the very same goddess that Ahlani called her mother.  _

_ Edward was right. A demigod falling for her mother’s paladin. It was like something out of a story. _

_ “Well?” Ares nudged Ahlani hard in the ribs, shaking her out of her thoughts. “You just gonna sit there or take watch?” _

_ “I’ll take watch,” Ahlani said. Ares gave one last sarcastic jab before he went into his tent, and Pira just gave a quiet wink. _

_ Ahlani enjoyed taking watch. She didn’t get tired - another blessing from her divine blood - and she enjoyed the quiet of the night. The soft crackling of the campfire, the distant songs of crickets, all while under a blanket of stars… it was calming. _

_ She glanced back to Reverie. In the fading embers of the firelight, she was beautiful. Her blonde hair reflected the dim light of the embers, almost golden.  _

_ Reverie shifted in her bedroll, sleepily sitting up. Bright blue eyes met Ahlani’s and she smiled. _

_ “Sorry,” Reverie muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. “Did I doze off?” _

_ “Yeah,” Ahlani said. “You deserved it, though.” _

_ “Did I?” _

_ “You smited half a dozen goblins today,” Ahlani said. “And were the one to get out the hostages. Yeah, you deserved it.” _

_ Reverie beamed. “I guess that’s right. Everyone else head to sleep?” _

_ “Yeah,” Ahlani said, turning her gaze back towards the dark woods. “I’m keeping watch.” _

_ “Mind if I join?” Reverie slid up next to Ahlani. _

_ Ahlani shook her head. “I could use the company.” _

_ They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, with Ahlani keeping her gaze carefully trained on the forest while Reverie switched between keeping watch and sharpening her sword. _

_ “I heard some rumors in that last town,” Ahlani said. “That a demon’s been terrorizing some of the townsfolk. Local guard drove it off, but apparently he’s hiding in the mountains.” _

_ Reverie lifted her head, a gleam in her eyes. “Lemme guess. Demon hunt?” _

_ Ahlani smirked. “I know you hate them.” _

_ “I do,” Reverie said, cracking her knuckles. “You think I could take its horns as a trophy?” _

_ Ahlani laughed under her breath. Reverie’s violent side was seldom seen - except once she got a target in her sights, then she was a terror on the battlefield. A terror with a special hatred for demons and other hellish beings. _

_ “I’m sure you could try,” Ahlani said. “We’ll head towards the city and find out where that demon’s gone.” _

_ Reverie grinned. “Then I can smash its skull in.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I put lots of the stuff in the tags but I'm afraid I might have forgotten something that needs a trigger warning, so if you have any questions about what else is in here, just feel free to ask in the comments.


	2. Local Legends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's another late night at the Drunken Boar Inn.

~ ~ ~ 500 Years Later

“I coulda sworn I seen it out there,” The hunter slurred, sloshing his mead in his tankard. “The Bloodied Knight.”

“Ha!” Another hunter barked, equally as drunk. “Tha’s just a legend. Tall tale told by mamas to scare their kids into getting home before dark, ain’t it?”

“It’s not!” The first hunter said. “I swear it! I was out hunting buck around midnight, and I saw ‘im, shifting between the trees. He saw me, too, ‘nd had two eyes as red as blood. I started running, faster than I’ve ever ran in my life!”

“And he didn’t catch you?”

“Course not! I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

A woman in silver armor sitting at the bar took a long sip of her drink, flagging down the barkeeper.

“Sir?” She asked. “What were those two men talking about?”

“The Bloodied Knight?” The barkeep said. “You never heard?”

The woman set down her tankard. “Let’s say I haven’t.”

“Goes by many names,” The barkeep said, pouring another patron a drink. “The Bloodied Knight, the Dark Night, Devil’s Hand. They say he’s a lone night who wanders the countryside, killing whoever he finds.”

“Hm,” The woman said. “You ever think there’s truth to those legends?”

The barkeep nodded solemnly. “Very much so. My ma and pa’s village was raided in the night, one of the Bloodied Knight’s rampages.” The barkeep got a sour look on his face. “If you ask me, I think he’s a monster. No person mangles bodies like that.”

The barkeep shot her a sideways glance. “You have the look of a mercenary. You’re not thinking of going after him, are you? That’s a death wish, lass.”

The woman shrugged nonchalantly. “Call it a hobby of mine. I’ve heard lots of legends of similar stock, and I want to see if they’re true.” She leaned forward. “What else can you tell me? Does anyone know what the Bloodied Knight actually  _ is?” _

The barkeep thought for a moment. “Most agree he’s somewhere between undead and cursed. Some people think he’s a demon in human skin. Some young lad who apparently saw one of his raids claims he’s a Paladin.”

The woman hummed under her breath. “A Paladin.” She echoed.

“Mm-hm. That’s what he said, at least.” The barkeep chuckled under his breath. “Something about how he radiated ‘broken holiness’. Then again, he was a priest’s kid, so I suppose he’d know a thing or two about holy.”

Abruptly, the woman stood, putting a few gold coins on the bar for her drink, and approached the two drunken hunters. 

“Excuse me,” She said to the first hunter. “Where was it that you saw the Bloodied Knight?”

The hunter sized her up. “Woods, outside o’ town.”

She gave him a curt nod. “Thank you.”

The second hunter sat up. “Oi, lassie!” He hollered. “He said the Bloodied Knight! You got a death wish?”

Under her breath, the woman chuckled. “Maybe I do.”


	3. Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reverie winds down.

Reverie had come to appreciate, if not enjoy, the scent of blood. 

It brought with it the feeling of blood on her blade and the wonderful sound of screams. It brought with it a feeling of elation, a high better than any drug. 

She almost didn’t want to wash the blood out of her hair, but she would have rather felt clean. So after she stripped herself of her armor, she slipped into the secluded spring and began washing the blood away.

The water felt blissfully cool against her skin, still sticky with sweat from her most recent rampage. She had easily been on her feet and awake since before the sun rose, but she still felt as energized as ever. 

Someone was watching her. Reverie opened her eyes, scanning the nearby area, before her gaze landed on a silhouette.

She should’ve expected it. Sitting at the edge of the spring was a mirror image of herself. The same choppy white hair, the same blood-red eyes. Horns, too, but far larger than her own. There was a crazed glint in her eyes.

_ “Done for today?”  _ She asked.

Reverie muttered out a response. “Maybe. Haven’t decided yet.”

_ “Ha!”  _ Her mirror image barked.  _ “You and I both know that’s a lie. You still haven’t had your fill of killing today.” _

Her reflection was right. Even now, Reverie’s hand itched to reach at her sword, to go hunting for fresh victims. The need to kill was almost overwhelming. She cracked her neck, letting the instinct wash over her for the time being.

She felt her mouth twitch into a smile. “Soon,” She told herself. “Can’t go hunting if I don’t look my best.”

Her reflection gave a dark chuckle, and disappeared.

Reverie breathed in a deep breath as she put her armor back on. Now that she had the idea in her mind, she couldn’t shake it - she wanted to feel blood on her blade again. No, she needed it.

There was a voice, and she froze.

_ “Stop it! Leave her alone!” _

Reverie shuddered, snarling under her breath. She tried to ignore the tugging of the memory.

_ “Aw,”  _ Her reflection shimmered in front of her again, a distortion of light.  _ “Reminiscing, are we?” _

“No,” Reverie growled.

_ “Good,”  _ Her reflection said.  _ “She hates you, you know. She’ll kill you the first chance she gets. It’s only a matter of time before she lets go of that act.” _

Reverie nodded numbly, in some semblance of agreement. She knew that was inevitable. She just hated being reminded of it.


	4. We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reverie gets a visitor.

The woman in silver trudged through the woods to the north of town. This is where the hunter last said he had seen the Knight last. With any luck, there would be footprints.

She laughed under her breath. Of course, there _would_ be footprints. She wasn’t subtle.

There was the faint scent of blood in the air. She knew she was on the right track now. She followed her instincts, the faint tugging of her heartstrings. She always knew where to go. She was pretty sure it was a part of her own fledgling divinity.

She came to a small clearing with a spring. In the middle of it, a woman about her age with stark white hair and curling ram’s horns donning her armor.

The woman paused, casting a disgusted glance over her shoulder. 

“Reverie,” The woman in silver said. She smiled. “Been a while.”

Reverie snarled at her. “The fuck are you doing back here?”

The woman in silver - Ahlani - let out a deep sigh. “I would hope that’s obvious.”

“I would hope that’s obvious,” Reverie mocked. “Fuck off.”

Ahlani took a step forward. “Look, I know we’ve done this a dozen times, but I think I might have-”

“I said-” Reverie spun around. “Fuck off!” She wheeled back around and continued putting on her armor. “I’m in a mood right now. You don’t want me to lose my head, do you?”

Reverie chuckled. “Or, rather, for  _ you  _ to lose your head.”

There was a thread of pain in Reverie’s voice, but Ahlani knew better. She took a few steps back. “Okay, okay. But you know I’m not just gonna leave this be.”

Reverie muttered some comeback and took a few deep breaths. 

_ Calm down,  _ she told herself.  _ You can’t lose it. Not now. Reign it back in, don’t hurt her- _

She whipped back around to Ahlani. “What are you still doing here?!”

Ahlani held up her hands, backing up into the brush. She turned on her heel and left, allowing Reverie to finally relax.

_ “Wow,”  _ Her reflection purred.  _ “Look at you, showing restraint.”  _ She met Reverie’s eyes, and Reverie was unable to look away. 

_ “C’mon, where’s the fun in that?”  _ Her reflection said.  _ “I know you want to lose it. Go feral, kill to your heart’s content. You’ve been teetering on the edge of sanity for centuries now, why not finally cave?” _

“Why not…?” Reverie shook the thought out of her head. “No. I have to keep this.”

_ “Why? You’re already so far beyond redemption… so why don’t you go all in?” _

The thought of that made a lump in Reverie’s throat. Maybe it was her inkling of morality coming through or the remnants of her past life, but she couldn’t. There was a part of her that never made peace with this new life.

_ “Pathetic,”  _ Her reflection spat.  _ “Holding back, as always. You just can’t do anything right, can you?” _

“Shut up!” Reverie snapped. But she was talking to open air.

“Shut up,” Reverie muttered again, putting on the remainder of her armor. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

She grabbed her sword. She felt herself beginning to slip, her bloodlust beginning to seep into her mind. She wanted nothing else but to crush someone’s skull in, to hear their screams as she ripped them apart.

She needed to kill. And now.

There was a town nearby. By some unnatural sixth sense, she knew that would be perfect. Another place on her ever-growing list of victims. A way to sate her ever-growing bloodlust.

She started laughing. It would be a bloodbath.

And it would make the worst of demons proud. 


	5. Self-Imposed Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahlani is anxious.

Ahlani knew something was wrong the moment she started walking away from Reverie.

Normally there was always some sort of demonic energy radiating from Reverie, but it felt… stronger. And Ahlani had seen Reverie during some of her worst rampages. The tension in the air was almost tangible.

She spent a little while pacing in the woods and wearing a track into the dirt. She wanted to go after Reverie. She wanted to tell Reverie about her plan. Because if this plan worked, then maybe…

Maybe everything could be normal again.

But Ahlani knew Reverie’s boundaries. She knew better than to keep pushing when Reverie was like that. Still, something felt off, some sort of knot in her stomach.

It struck Ahlani suddenly. Why she was so anxious.

Reverie was going to go after that village.

“Damn it,” Ahlani muttered. “Damn it, Reverie.” 

Ahlani wanted to help her old friend, but her duty to the common people came first. She broke off at a run towards the town, the worry growing and growing with each step. It was almost dusk now. 

“Damn it!” Ahlani panted, reaching the edge of the treeline. 

Then, a scream.

Ahlani stood breathless for a second, cursing under her breath. She was already too late. Because once first blood was drawn, it was over.

Still, she trudged into the village, determined to try and save whoever she could. The next few minutes were a panicked blur of pushing through waves of people, before she finally saw Reverie herself.

She was laughing madly, stained through with blood, slashing through victims and tearing through bodies. Corpses were beginning to collect at her feet, the blood pooling on the ground. In the dim twilight, drenched in red, with the glint of madness in her eyes, she…

She looked monstrous.

Ahlani shook the thought out of her head. This was Reverie. Her friend. The woman she had adventured with for years.

But with those horns, and that madness, it was hard to recognize her.

Ahlani forced herself to take a few steps back. She knew it was for naught now. She would just have to find her later. She knew exactly what would happen if she tried to approach Reverie right now. And she wouldn’t have that again.

Except Ahlani wouldn’t have a choice.

Blood-red eyes locked onto her’s as Reverie spun around, a manic grin on her face. Ahlani froze. It didn’t matter how many times it happened, the lack of recognition in her best friend’s eyes would always scare her.

Faster than lightning, Reverie lunged at her like a rabid animal, slashing a downward arc with her sword. Ahlani lept back, grabbing her sword.

When Reverie was worked up into a frenzy like this, she truly fought like a demon. Her attacks were uncoordinated, based on strength alone, closer to that of a raging barbarian than a well-trained Paladin. 

Ahlani was forced onto the defensive, parrying and blocking when she could while trying to find a way out. Reverie would kill her if she had the chance. And Ahlani couldn’t let that happen.

Reverie brought her sword down so hard that when Ahlani blocked it, she felt the vibrations in her bones. Ahlani grimaced, rolling back and parrying Reverie’s next strike.

_ As long as I can get some distance, I can get away,  _ Ahlani thought.  _ I just need to- _

Reverie smacked her temple with the hilt of her sword, making Ahlani’s vision blur. Suddenly, in a stroke of awful luck, Ahlani was on the ground and prone, with just the glinting of steel above her.

She didn’t even feel the sword bury itself in her chest.

She had died hundreds of times before. In her quest to rescue Reverie from herself, she had stared death in the eyes. She had grown used to it. Pain was nothing to her now, nothing compared to her own drive. 

The one thing that broke her was Reverie’s expression.

Manic glee turned into pained confusion as awareness bled back into Reverie’s gaze. Her bloodlust-induced haze faded, replaced with cold and chilling fear. Her eyes widened, tears already beginning to spill over her cheeks.

Ahlani already felt her life beginning to slip. When she tried to speak, to console Reverie, blood bubbled up in the back of her throat instead.

Her vision started going dark and she could only watch in horror as Reverie stood above her, numb and petrified. 

Ahlani closed her eyes. This was her own self-imposed curse.


	6. Reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reverie comes back to her senses.

Reverie blinked a few times before coming to her senses. Then, she reared her head back and screamed.

Reverie dropped to her knees, clutching her head in her hands. Reality had crashed back in all at once like an avalanche, horrible guilt that crushed her heart into pieces.

She tried to keep her eyes locked on the ground. She couldn’t look at Ahlani. She couldn’t see the corpse of her friend again.

_ “Is it even fair to call her your friend?”  _ Suddenly, Reverie’s reflection was in front of her, grinning.  _ “Friends don’t kill each other.” _

“I-...” Reverie couldn’t force the words out of her mouth. Everything was spinning now, so many things and emotions colliding together. She wanted to throw up. Better yet, she wanted to run away from everything, to a place where nobody, not even Ahlani, could find her.

Reverie had felt this shift in emotions before. It came every time she killed Ahlani. It was like for a brief moment, she was herself again, all her madness leaving.

_ “Get up,”  _ Her reflection hissed.  _ “You do this every time. She doesn’t deserve to be mourned by you.” _

“But she…” Reverie’s voice was hoarse. Her vision was blurred with tears. “She was… trying-”

_ “She’ll kill you one of these days,”  _ Her reflection said, kneeling down to her eye level. She looked more demonic than usual, more terrifying.  _ “This is why you need to let go. You don’t want to feel like this anymore, do you? You wish you didn’t care.” _

Reverie clasped her hands over mouth, trying to stop the sob that was building in her throat. She didn’t want to care, but that was the only thing that made her feel human…

_ “You’re barely human anymore!”  _ Her reflection shouted, making Reverie flinch.  _ “You’re a demon in all but blood! So just start calling yourself that now!” _

“I don’t…” Reverie’s voice was a thin whisper. “I don’t want to…”

_ “Then what?! Are you gonna kill yourself again?” _

With shaking hands, Reverie reached for her sword, still embedded in Ahlani’s chest. It was coated in fresh blood. Reverie tried not to look at the corpse.

_ “Coward,”  _ Her reflection snarled.  _ “You’re a damn coward.” _

“I know,” Reverie whimpered, pointing the blade toward her own chest.

Her reflection watched in disgusted silence as Reverie lined the point of the blade up with her breast bone, taking in a shaky breath. 

The pain that blossomed in her chest was a welcome sensation. It meant she would get a brief reprieve from her own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters need some editing. I'll try to update soonish.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I put lots of the stuff in the tags but I'm afraid I might have forgotten something, so if you have any questions about what else is in here, just feel free to ask in the comments.


End file.
